
What should you not say to HR?
What should you not say to HR?

Many of our new clients call us with exactly the same question, which is some version of Human Resources just told me they want to meet with me. I’m freaked out. What should I do??
Our employment law practice is dedicated to serving clients across Connecticut and New York, including businesses, private and public entities, and high level executives. Our experienced employment lawyers provide a full range of services to both employees and employers. We represent clients in federal court and state courts, offering legal counsel and counseling to help clients develop and maintain employee relations practices. We represent employers as well as employees, handling claims involving wage, contract, retaliation, and wrongful termination, including cases where clients have been wrongfully terminated. Our focus is on protecting employee rights and employees rights, acting on behalf of our clients in employment disputes. Our services also include helping clients understand and comply with employment laws to ensure fair and lawful workplaces.
At this point, most employees are aware that the HR department is not your friend. They don’t work for you they work for the company. However, there are some guidelines about what you should and should not discuss with HR.
One note before we get started I am using the term HR but if you work for a smaller company, you might not have a formal HR department. This advice applies the same if you have someone in your workplace who acts as a sort of HR person or assists with HR-like matters.
The general rule is don’t bring your everyday complaints to HR. They’re not there to make your job better or easier and they might fire you simply because they don’t want to hear it. This is usually legal.
This is a little bit more complicated than it might initially seem. What do I mean by everyday complaints? I am referring to anything frustrating or annoying but not illegal.
Why does this make such a difference? If you think there is illegal or potentially illegal conduct happening in your workplace, that should be reported because reporting it can protect you. When to report, who to report to, and how varies, so we suggest you call us if you think illegal conduct is happening.
Now, what kind of behavior is often not illegal and you should not complain to HR about it?
Employment Discrimination
In the employment world, being discriminated against means that you are being treated differently or adversely in a way that is different from how your peers are being treated. It’s rarely overt. Consider whether certain groups of people are shown favoritism given the best projects commended by supervisors or invited to client meetings.
Consider whether you experienced or observed other groups being disfavored, sidelined, less appreciated, or treated more harshly by co-workers or your boss. Don’t be afraid to raise concerns and use the word discrimination or say, I feel I am being discriminated against. This is an important protection for you because it is illegal for an employer to retaliate against other employees who have complained about discrimination.
Protect yourself further by doing it in writing over email. HR cannot guarantee confidentiality in cases of sexual harassment or discrimination, but it is legally required to respond to such reports.
Medical Needs
Your employer has obligations to you around different medical needs. If you have to take time off for a medical condition or to help a family member with a medical condition, you may be entitled to federal or state-protected medical leave (FMLA leave). If you have a medical condition where you can do your job, but you need reasonable accommodations, your employer is required to provide these to you (some examples include needing limitations on the hours you work or how often you can travel).
Too often we have clients who get fired or demoted for being a bad employee when they actually needed and would have been legally entitled to a medical accommodation. If the employer doesn’t know about your need for accommodation, such as if the condition isn’t visible and the employee doesn’t report it, there is little we can do. Employees are generally instructed not to disclose medical issues to HR unless they are required for restrictions.
Pay Issues
I mentioned that if you’re an at-will employee, your employer is not necessarily barred from changing your pay going forward. However, company policies should dictate that they always have to pay you all compensation earned or owed to you. If you think you’re owed money, bring it up.
The Importance of Documentation
In the world of employment law, documentation is one of the most powerful tools available to both employers and employees. A reputable CT employment law firm will always stress the importance of keeping accurate and comprehensive records of all workplace interactions, policies, and agreements. This includes maintaining up-to-date employee handbooks, clear employment agreements, and detailed severance agreements. These documents form the backbone of a strong employment relationship and are essential for resolving employment disputes efficiently and fairly.
For employers, thorough documentation is key to maintaining employee relations practices that comply with federal employment law and support business objectives. Keeping detailed records helps ensure compliance with regulations covering everything from overtime pay and the medical leave act to workplace harassment and employment discrimination. By documenting policies and incidents, employers can demonstrate their commitment to workplace fairness and transparency, which is invaluable during settlement negotiations or if litigation arises. Proper documentation also helps protect the company’s interests and upholds the highest ethical standards in employer employee relationships.
Employees, on the other hand, should also be diligent about keeping their own records. If you experience or witness employment discrimination, sexual harassment, wrongful termination, or any other violation of your legal rights, having a written record can make all the difference. Detailed notes, saved emails, and copies of relevant documents can be crucial when seeking legal representation from a Connecticut employment lawyer or CT employment attorney. These records help employment attorneys and labor lawyers build a strong case, whether you are seeking to protect your rights, negotiate a severance, or challenge a wrongful termination.
In the event of an employment dispute, documentation often becomes the deciding factor. Employment law firms rely on well-kept records to represent clients effectively, whether serving private or public entities. Accurate documentation supports compliance, protects both parties, and helps resolve conflicts in a way that aligns with the law and workplace regulations.
Ultimately, prioritizing documentation is essential for anyone navigating the complexities of employment law. By keeping meticulous records and consulting with a trusted CT employment law firm, both employers and employees can protect their interests, ensure compliance, and maintain ethical and productive workplace practices. Whether you are an employer looking to establish best practices or an employee seeking to protect your rights, documentation is your best defense in the ever-evolving landscape of employment law.
Be Smart About Cooperating With Your HR Department
This goes back to the example I started with. What do you do if HR unexpectedly schedules a meeting with you? Keep in mind these types of meetings might be about you, such as if you’re being placed on a performance improvement plan or investigated for misconduct, or they could be about someone else, such as someone else HR is investigating.
In either case, you want to avoid doing anything that could get you labeled as insubordinate or fired while you figure out what the situation is, and this includes outright refusing to meet with HR. However, you have options! Your first option is to tell them that you would like to speak to a lawyer first and ask if the meeting can be rescheduled until you can do that.
Another option is to go to the meeting and listen, but decline to make your statement and not admit to any wrongdoing. For example, if you are accused of performance issues or inappropriate behavior, it’s a good time to simply say I would like to talk to a lawyer before I respond. Now, there are no guarantees and you could still get fired or penalized, but often this statement alone is enough to put the brakes on and give you some time to figure out your legal options.
Certain situations, like being in a union, may allow you to bring a lawyer to an HR meeting. The company’s needs, not those of the employees, are the main focus of HR departments. HR people and staff members are free to communicate about confidential information they feel should be shared and are not obligated to keep discussions private.
Employees should gather relevant documents and understand the goal of HR meetings to prepare for them. It is advised that staff members record their conversations during meetings with HR for additional reference. Try to focus on the positive aspects when meeting with your HR department.
What should you not say to HR? If you need more information about this topic or have a question that concerns Connecticut employment law, please contact our employment law attorneys at Carey & Associates PC at 203-255-4150 or email info@capclaw.com. We have extensive experience dealing with HR issues in the workplace.
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Practice Areas
- Employment Counseling
- Pregnancy Discrimination
- Disability Discrimination
- Age Discrimination
- Severance Negotiations
- Sexual Harassment
- Executive Compensation
- Racial Discrimination
- Wage and Overtime
- Sexual Orientation
- Whistleblower Protection
- Family Medical Leave Act
- Pension Disability
- Employment Defamation
- Religious Discrimination
- Noncompetition Agreements
- Wrongful Termination
- Retaliation Discrimination
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